Friday, November 25, 2011

Random Hilarity

Kate's sister-in-law was helping cook yesterday and she poked the turkey with the meat thermometer to see if it was finished and Alison goes, "That turkey's gonna feel it in the morning."

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

This is how exciting work was today






It was pretty dead today.  Duh.  It's the day before Thanksgiving.  No one's buying cars today.   Everyone is at the supermarket buying last minute items for the big day.  I know.  I was there.  I went after work because I'm making a fruit salad and I wanted to get the perishable items right before hand so they wouldn't go bad.  It actually wasn't too horrible since I only had a handful of things to get.  Alison waited with the cart at the end of the aisle and I dashed in and grabbed what we needed.  It's all about strategy. 

As you can see from the picture above, work bought pizza and essentially ruined Thanksgiving for me.  Here's how:

I'm going to my sister, Kate's, house where they do the whole turkey spread and it's delicious and I've been dreaming about it since last Thanksgiving.

Then this morning I went and grabbed Starbucks before work because it's delicious and I was hungry I got very full from it.  I get to work and a guy bought donuts for everyone.  There were a ton of them but they go quick and I thought I would grab one and save it for later.  But it sat next to me at the computer and talked to me and I ate it.  Then, like an hour later, work bought pizza.  I did the same thing.  Grabbed a couple slices to save for when I was hungrier, but I couldn't let them get cold.  I'd have to walk all the way upstairs to warm them back up.

Do you see the pattern?  Don't put food next to me.  I have no willpower.   I'm still stuffed.  I don't know if I'll make it through tomorrow.  I'll probably still be full, but I won't be able to resist the delicious spread.  This is how stomachs explode.

Thanks a lot, work.  Thanks for forcing me to eat free food.  Jerks.

Oh, and have a wonderful Turkey Day tomorrow.  

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Of course I think of this after Halloween


Not the saying on the poster.  That's Kate's brilliancy.  Apparently that's a word because spell check didn't flag it.  And here I thought I was making one up.  I wonder if this is how Shakespeare felt.  I think he's been credited with making up a few words like scissors.  What did people call them before that and how did moms warn their children not to run with them?  

This cute guy could be a great postcard series.  What better way to tell your loved ones you haven't seen in a while that you love them and want them to have a Happy Halloween than with a bloody hatchet guy that threatens their lives?  And I think of it two weeks after the fact.  I guess there's always next year.  I'll have even more by then.

But you know Valentines Day?  That useless holiday chocolate companies made up to boost sales after Christmas?  I'm all prepared for that one. 



I don't believe in getting presents or doing anything special on Valentines Day.  Forced present buying does not equate love.  You know that time you took out the garbage and I didn't even have to ask you to do it?  That's how you show you love me.  But I could possibly go for a card.  One with a bleeding heart on it that's mildly insulting?  Perfect.