1) I take my own candy into the movie theaters even though you're not supposed to. This is what God made oversized handbags for. This time Alison brought a little baggie with her Halloween candy in it because I was not about to buy candy when she already had a good four months supply just sitting there.
A reasonable adult mind sees this as solving a problem. She wants candy during the movie, she already has candy, voila! An eight year old sees this as the end of her world. She has candy, she wants more candy, movies in the past have always produced extra candy, why should this be any different? This was easily averted by threatening to not go at all. She calmed right down.
So we get to the theater and she's eating the candy and she whispers, "Mom, what do I do with the wrappers?"
"You throw them on the floor. They sweep them up later. It's what they get paid minimum wage for."
"I can't do that. It's littering."
"Who raised you?"
"Here mom, take it."
So she spent the movie handing me wrappers which I then tossed on the floor.
2) Alison wore a new pair of pants today that have multiple pockets on them. When she put them on she noticed a new pocket she hadn't seen before. You've heard about the straw that broke the camels back, right? Well, this was the pocket that blew Alison's mind. She liked the pants before and thought the pockets were pretty amazing, but this one? This pocket made the pants AMAZING. She kept mentioning how awesome all those pockets were.
Then, while I was walking her to the bus stop, she said, "I can hold so much stuff in these pockets. Like....eggs! I could hold so many eggs in these pockets. And then they'd hatch and I'd have animals in there!" And she says this like it wouldn't be disgusting to have a just hatched, slimy animal squirming around in her pocket.
"What kind of animals?" I asked.
"Unicorns. And they would grant me three wishes because that's what unicorns do."
"What would you wish for with your three wishes?"
"Oh, no I'd have tons of wishes because I'd have so many unicorns. I'd wish for everything. Don't worry, mom. I'll share with you. You can have one of my wishes."
Such a sweetheart.