Wednesday, November 9, 2011

This hasn't happened to me in years

No, not that...

I was listening to the radio today and that really annoying sound of a beep/dying cow pooping out a broken violin came on that signals the emergency 'alert' system.  I always though it was the emergency broadcast system.  Either they changed it in the ten years since I heard it last or maybe it's different in Arizona?  Does each state have a different name for it?

Anyways.  I was driving in the car when it came on and it plays that annoying noise for what feels like a full minute before an actual voice comes on.  It's probably only a couple of seconds but it feels like longer.  Which is why I'm not sure how this is effective in getting people's attention.  It is more likely to get them to change the channel.

I almost changed the station because I was 99% sure it was going to be a test, but there is always that chance.  There could be a real calamity.  What if they come on and say, "Warning, this is not a test.  Your city is being attacked by giant robots.  Please proceed calmly to the nearest exit."

I would have changed the station, kept on driving and been stepped on by a giant robot. 

That is probably what life is like in those movies where superheros exist and they have crazy super villains that attack the city in dramatic ways.  They probably have to listen to that annoying noise all the time.

"This is not a test. Nuclear worms are headed for the suburbs.  Run for your lives."

Actually it might be more casual than that.  Since they're used to it.  All it would probably do is spice up the daily traffic report.  "Be cautious on I-10 East today, DeathHead and Lady Justice are battling it out on the overpass.  Expect delays for the next ten to fifteen minutes until her super strength destroys his metal-music-powered laser ray.

If only we lived in a land where the good guys always won and giant robots roamed the streets.

1 comment:

missmessy said...

I have always tried to come up with a good metaphor for the emergency broadcast systems sound: Giant cow pooping out a broken violin, is the absolute best I've ever heard. I also think it sounds like a Speak and Spell having a noisy orgasm. Ha!